So, in my social group/constellation/whatever, we’re all really close. All my close friends have keys to my house, so they can come by whenever they want. This makes it easy when someone goes away, we can all feed each other’s pets! Plus, those of us who have laundry machines let those who don’t use ours, as its much nicer to do laundry and hang out with good people, or at least be able to sit inside and use the computer, than go to the laundrette!
So my friend Je, she comes by quite a bit, and she has a toothbrush here, along with me and my husband. Now, I have a boyfriend who spends the night quite a bit, and has started leaving things here - including a toothbrush. So we were getting the start of a jumble of toothbrushes in our little toothbrush holder, and many of them looked a like. In the short term, I put super hero stickers on the handles, but then I found these cute toothbrush holders for kids on amazon! There is one for each person who has a toothbrush in my home, and the animal is significant to them.
In order, the tiger is my husband (He was born in the year of the Tiger, and he’s a Leo) the cat is me (I’m a cat mom, and my boyfriend calls me kitten. Plus, there was no rat!) the dog is my boyfriend (he’s very wolf like, but again, no wolves, only dogs) and the panda is Je, who loves pandas!
This way, we can all find our toothbrushes, they are all cleaner than if they were in the cup, and its a cute way to personalize our bathroom! Its these fun little poly situations I really enjoy - we all talk about time organization and google calendars and primaries, but none of the logical stuff, like, what do I do with all these damn toothbrushes?
For the next month or so, my thesis proposal is going to keep me away from paying too much attention to FuckYeahPolyamory.
Because of this, I would like to invite people to submit true polyamorous stories.
These stories can be anything as long as they follow these rules:
- must be respectful of everyone. No shaming. No bashing monogamy. It is perfectly reasonable to tell stories of when you have been shamed or mistreated.
- must maintain a safe level of anonymity for the people involved. Please provide a disclaimer to prevent confusion. Ways to preserve the safety of the people involved include changing the names or dates of places, events, and people, submitting anonymously, and using first letters of names instead of full names. You also may contact me for my private e-mail address and you can instead e-mail the story to me directly for it to be posted with some editing (with your permission).
- must be shared with the understanding that people may share this story.
- These stories can include cute little events, how you met a lover, rejection, break ups, responses to other people, etc. Really - have a field day with this. You guys are all individuals with unique and individual stories to share.
I look forward to reading/posting your stories! I will be checking at least once a week as to keep up with Fuck Yeah Polyamory.
Love Infinite,
L
Alan Fiske conceived a theory of 4 main relationship types. I am only going to use 3 to illustrate this because 2 of them can be combined. 1. Dominance relationship type This could be summed up as “Don’t mess with me” and is thought to have roots in the social structure you see in modern Apes. From a human perspective it is the same model with the overarching theme of using fear to gain authority, or maintain control over others. In more complex scenarios, emotions such as shame, greed, jealously are important to motivate others. 2. Communality relationship type Can be summed up as “Share and share alike.” In this model the primary objective is to collaborate for the good of the whole. Example: if we have a school and they have a library, everyone will benefit from combining resources. 3. Resiprosity relationship type This is summed up as “You scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours. However, this differs considerably from Communality, because the intention isint to share, but gain something that someone else controls, so that you have ownership. Although this requires an agreement that may be viewed as fair. In the context of Capitalism, there may be a tendency to take advantage of someone because the outcome is usually for an individual purpose and not for the sum of the whole. They are not sharing resources, they are trading them. How these relationship types impact the concept of Poly relationships… To operate effectivly in polyamorous relationship, you have to be free of guilt, greed, selfishness, etc because those modes of thought provoke feelings that are based on dominance or self intrest, rather that sharing. It will be particularly difficult for some one who lives within the Dominance or Resiprosity mode to really believe that the other person has intentions other than dominance or self intrest. So any argument for or agianst polyamory can be understood by understanding why and where people exist in these relationship types. A sense of Communality must be present to participate.
Its about being queer and living life. A lot has to do with being poly and lives. Everyone should check it out! We’re just starting off, but there is plenty to come! :)
