This is an article I wrote for my personal blog. I pick a topic every week (usually entertainment) and do a list article in an ongoing column I call “The P List.” This week I wanted to tackle the topic of being poly and dispel some myths. I thought others here might benefit from reading it, or having the link to throw at people who criticize their (our) lifestyles.
I don’t claim to be an expert in polyamory or in relationships in general, and I don’t claim to speak for everyone who identifies as poly. All I wanted to do is provide some information and personal experiences in the hope that outsiders will be less judgmental of the way I live and the way I love. I hope others find it helpful as well.
Imagine the web of people you have vicariously slept with through your other partners.
Imagine how it keeps extending, becoming more complicated and convoluted.
Imagine the moments when any of these lovers, out of passion, forgot protection.
Imagine the moments when they had their hearts broken by a partner that lied to them, or denied information, about sexual involvement with another person.
Imagine how long it would take for news of an STD somewhere in that web to reach you.
It take 5 minutes to get tested for HIV. 20 minutes to have a broad spectrum STD test. The majority of that time is spent waiting, filling out consent forms, or listening to the basic “we have to tell everyone this” stuff about test results and counseling. You wait 1-2 weeks for your results. You inform your partners. You get treated for anything you have (if anything).
STD testing is important for everyone regardless of race, gender identity, or sexual orientation. All forms of sexual contact can spread STDs. People involved with multiple partners increase their risk due to the development of this web of vicarious lovers. Especially in circumstances of non-penetrative sex contact where people normally don’t even think about protection.
If you don’t want to get testing done at the doctor’s office because you’re afraid of being judged/shamed, results being reported to insurance, or another personal reason, look into community testing resources in your area. Almost all are free, many provide the medications for treatment free or at a discounted cost, and you will not be judged. Almost all community testing resources are 100% confidential, except having to report numbers to Health Departments, and in some circumstance of particular STDs, report to your previous partners that they were exposed to someone with that STD. The reporting to previous partners often involves a phone call requesting they get themselves tested, and no name disclosure.
As a rule of thumb: Get tested prior to engaging in sexual activity with any new partner, and at minimum get tested once a year as part of a yearly health exam. Know what the warning signs of STDs look like. Know what they look like if your partners are affected.
Afraid of needles? The majority of STD tests are 98% accurate when non-needle, blood free, minimally invasive methods are used (urine sample, cervical swab, vaginal swab, cheek swab).
In order to prevent STDs, always use protection. If you think you’re going to be in a circumstance where it would be inconvenient to use protection and you have a vagina or anus that’s going to be used for sex, consider an internal condom (also known as a vaginal or “female” condom). These can be placed in the body cavity and left for up to 6-8 hours prior.
There have been recent reports of STD forms of bacterial necrotizing fasciitis infections in the San Francisco area of the United States, and new reports are popping up all over the country and world in previously unaffected areas.
Show your partners, your partners’ partners, and everyone in your life that you may have sexual contact with that you care about the health of yourself and those around you. Please, take the time to get tested and protect those around us that we love.
One of the easiest ways to show people we love them is to respect our health and their own.
If you need help acquiring information on STD testing, no matter where you are, send us a message. If you have any questions about protecting yourself and your partners, please ask - L works in a health care facility and provides education and counseling on STDs as well as having a history of healthcare training. P has bachelors degree in Public Health and can provide help as well. Sadly, we cannot provide medical advice beyond very basic educational information.
Love Infinite and Best Wishes for the Health of Everyone in Our Community,
Fuck Yeah Polyamory
Its about being queer and living life. A lot has to do with being poly and lives. Everyone should check it out! We’re just starting off, but there is plenty to come! :)
Hey everybody,
My good friend that I love dearly and fellow SO of Protozoa found out recently that her mother is in the hospital. Her mother was recently moved to the ICU and is on breathing apparatus in addition to having to have fluid drained from her lungs. Her condition is serious and possibly worsening. They do not know what is wrong with her.
I would like to request that everyone show our love and her mother support. I also issue the invitation that if you ever need support for one of your SOs due to a life crisis, please do not hesitate to ask.
[Due to maintaining our love’s privacy, I do not feel comfortable sharing too much information without her consent (especially for professional reasons… ]
Ways that you can best show your support are either by sharing words of encouragement that we will share with her, the blog, and her mother (if possible).
Thank you so much and Love Infinite,
Dreaminventor
FuckYeahPolyamory
“The central promise of Christianity is that if we trust in God, we will experience new life. This new life starts right here, right now; we’re not just twiddling our thumbs while we wait for some future heaven. The signs of this new life are known as “the fruit of the Spirit”: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If we show growth in these ways, and the people around us also show growth in these ways, then it’s a pretty good sign that we are experiencing the new life promised to us in Christ.”
For those of you who are christian, this is an article that explains how polyamory and christianity can work together, and not against each other. Also a great source for those of you with christian families/parents.
