Hey there! Heads up: This is not a question about polyamory. I follow you on tumblr to keep connected to poly resources — i sense i am fairly well-versed (not a ‘newb’). Seeking advice isn’t my personal primary goal as a follower.
A few weeks ago, you’d made a post titled “How Can We Make This Blog Better?” (or something to this extent here).
When I began following fypolyamory (a little over a year ago), what i liked most about it was that updates were not overly frequent, and when they appeared, they were typically useful, powerful posts — all very relevant in celebrating polyamory. You seemed to do a lot of providing resources for approaching healthy nonmonogamy. This I appreciated a lot.
As a follower, my only suggestion to your question would be to trim back a bit and simply stick to the most relevant and empowering resources/posts.
I’m glad you asked for feedback — it feels encouraging to know that others share things in ways that incorporate their ‘audiences’. :)
Alan Fiske conceived a theory of 4 main relationship types. I am only going to use 3 to illustrate this because 2 of them can be combined. 1. Dominance relationship type This could be summed up as “Don’t mess with me” and is thought to have roots in the social structure you see in modern Apes. From a human perspective it is the same model with the overarching theme of using fear to gain authority, or maintain control over others. In more complex scenarios, emotions such as shame, greed, jealously are important to motivate others. 2. Communality relationship type Can be summed up as “Share and share alike.” In this model the primary objective is to collaborate for the good of the whole. Example: if we have a school and they have a library, everyone will benefit from combining resources. 3. Resiprosity relationship type This is summed up as “You scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours. However, this differs considerably from Communality, because the intention isint to share, but gain something that someone else controls, so that you have ownership. Although this requires an agreement that may be viewed as fair. In the context of Capitalism, there may be a tendency to take advantage of someone because the outcome is usually for an individual purpose and not for the sum of the whole. They are not sharing resources, they are trading them. How these relationship types impact the concept of Poly relationships… To operate effectivly in polyamorous relationship, you have to be free of guilt, greed, selfishness, etc because those modes of thought provoke feelings that are based on dominance or self intrest, rather that sharing. It will be particularly difficult for some one who lives within the Dominance or Resiprosity mode to really believe that the other person has intentions other than dominance or self intrest. So any argument for or agianst polyamory can be understood by understanding why and where people exist in these relationship types. A sense of Communality must be present to participate.
Its about being queer and living life. A lot has to do with being poly and lives. Everyone should check it out! We’re just starting off, but there is plenty to come! :)
