FuckYeahPolyamory

For Our Pleasure: Openness

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:26:57 -0500

formypleasure1992:

I don’t know how the decision really came about initially; I guess a drunk conversation about how much we adored each other but how unrealistic a monogamous relationship was..(due to distance, our age, and our sexual appetite). If we wanted to have anything together, it would have to be an open…

Final Farewell

Sat, 04 Aug 2012 16:14:30 -0400

I wanted to say good bye to you all.

I, DreamInventor also known as L, will no longer be an administrator on FYP.

I miss posting, seeking out information for you all, and doing the best I can… but I couldn’t do it alone, and I was forced to way too much.

Please be patient with the creator of this blog (P). He created this because he felt very passionate about the subject.

Do not expect too much out of him - he’s a PhD student.

Things just haven’t worked out.

I wish the best for your all, and as always, infinite love,

DreamInventor

Im Rachel and I’m ...

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 14:13:25 -0400

Im Rachel and I’m Poly!

http://rawwrrritsrachel.tumblr.com/

You had a follower ask about poly in movies. The best depiction recently was in the short lived TV show Caprica. It shows a very positive and happy family dynamic of tfour wives and three husbands and the resultant group of children living in one house. It went as far as to show how the love (and sex) was in pairs and groups. I was actually surprised when it showed two of the husbands kiss. It was a great show, sadly it might have been just too much for US audiences.

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 14:13:16 -0400

I am definitely going to check that out. Thanks!

I loved finding your blog here, I think it’s amazing! This is really the first blog (other...

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 08:44:33 -0400

I loved finding your blog here, I think it’s amazing!

This is really the first blog (other than one of my own) that I felt like I could comfortably share my own poly story. :)

My fiance and I have been together for over a little more than 3 years now, and we had been discussing opening up our relationship for the past year and what it would mean. As we got into 2012, I met the guy who would become my now-boyfriend and that was an interesting experience.

At first we were on shaky terms with the concept, we talked a lot about it and established some temporary “rules” in order to make it a more comfortable transition. As time passed and tensions eased, we all got comfortable with each other and I am very happy to say that the three of us are fantastically happy!

Both of them have been encouraged to date others if they wish, and I’ve been on the receiving end of details varying from PG to X-rated. If I could find a way to describe our relationship, it’s like the three very best friends. Except I get to sleep with both of them! ;) hahaha

I just wanted to share my story, we are definitely a happy little triangle right now, and this felt like a good place to talk about it and receive more positive feedback than I have gotten on other sites and other place.

Lots of love!
<3

Would you happen to know of any good films/books/television shows that portray polyamorous relationships in a positive light? Fiction or non-?

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 13:48:00 -0400

One of my favorite science fiction books is The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Heinlein and it contains a favorable depiction of polyamory. Do any readers have more suggestions?

Re: This question: "I just found your blog, so I'm not sure if you have mentioned this but how should I go about telling a potential lover I'm polyamorous and already have one partner?" I really think that poly people, especially those who already have a partner, need to be upfront initially and give the new potential partner all relevant information. Not everyone is okay dating someone with a primary if they don't have one themselves. It's basic courtesy to be upfront initially.

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 15:17:44 -0400

Yes it is a courtesy! Not doing this is something called “lying by omission”

HONEST OPEN COMMUNICATION is the biggest thing stressed here.

Thank you for your contribution :) Always appreciated!

Love Infinite,
FYP

I can totally relate to the anon who thinks that poly is what she wants but worries about the jealousy and insecurity. I'm in a relationship now that we've agreed is poly although not too much has happened there. I also have a lot of jealousy and insecurity to deal with but I know that they're there and I've worked on them quite a bit. It isn't easy but it's a lot better to know these things about yourself ahead of time so they don't sneak up on you and destroy your relationships.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:52:06 -0400

Thank you so much! It is better to figure these things out about yourself :)

Love Infinite,
Fuck Yeah Polyamory

Polycule: First Time

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 19:25:16 -0400

Polycule: First Time:

sololalia:

When I heard my husband say “I love you” to her for my first time, I didn’t hate her (and I didn’t hate him). When I saw him kiss her deeply, a lump of betrayal did not form in my throat. When he caressed her softly, my heart string were not ripped out. No. None of that happened….

Polycule: IT'S AN UNPOPULAR OPINION.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 17:10:25 -0400

Polycule: IT'S AN UNPOPULAR OPINION.:

polycule:

rosemwelch:

polycule:

I think we’re doing it wrong. “We” being polyamorous folks and “it” being discussing polyamory with monogamous friends.

Often I’ve noticed, in myself as well as others, when faced with the daunting task of explaining polyamory to someone who’s either never heard of it or is being judgmental, we…

““Well yeah but it’s not for everyone,”

Except that it’s NOT for everyone, just as monogamy is not for everyone. So… Yeah?

The entire point of my post was that encouraging that thought and using it as a defense mechanism further perpetuates the idea that not only is polyamory not for everyone, it’s not for anyone. So what if it isn’t for everyone? That’s not a reason not to demand that everyone respect and support it.

“It’s not for everyone” is polite code for “this is a weird thing.” And polyamory is not weird, so people need to stop using “it’s not for everyone” as a way to try and garner support for it. It’s not going to work. It’s like saying, ”please respect and encourage my strange and fringe lifestyle that I recognize as strange and fringe.”

Plus, I do think polyamory could be for everyone, so, there’s that.

Hi! I've never been in a poly relationship before, but the more I read about it, the more I realize that that's the type of person I want to be. However, I can be rather jealous/possessive, but am willing to work on it because polyamorous relationships just make the most sense to me, even if I can't bend my head that way right now. Am I going about this the wrong way?

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 16:25:56 -0400

You realize you have your personal insecurities. Try to figure out the root of them. I would recommend taking time to yourself and working on combatting the root of that problem. You should get to know yourself really well and accept the ways that you can live and be happy with life. Polyamory may make sense to you, but it may not be what will make you happy. This also does not mean that if it does not work for you that your experiences with it will be totally dissatisfying.

This probably sounds like a bunch of “know thy self and find the truth” blabber… but it is. That’s how these things work. You have to know yourself in order to determine what will make you happy in life.

Love Infinite,
Fuck Yeah Polyamory

how does one go about finding other polyamorous people? Everyone i mention it to where I live seems disgusted and its really discouraging.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 16:08:53 -0400

Meetup.com offers a multitude of polyamory and alternative relationship meet up groups that will get you in touch with your local community. Some meet up groups are geared toward meeting potential partners, others are strictly the opposite and are to be more of a support group.

If you’re looking for more of the online dating situation, there are some dating websites that allow you to build a profile that may include your desire to find other polyamorous people for friends or relationships. OkCupid is an okay website, though I’ve heard a lot of mixed reviews and was personally dissatisfied with it. Don’t take me as an example though - I’m not a big online dating person.

Best of luck to you! Don’t be discouraged!

Love Infinite,
Fuck Yeah Polyamory

So my girlfriend and I just decided that our relationship would be an open one. Does this make us poly? I've always wanted to try a relationship with more than one person, but I never have to I'm not really sure...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 16:05:16 -0400

This is something you will need to discuss with your girlfriend.

There are many flavors of polyamory. There are also many flavors of “open”. To have an open relationship may mean you’re just allowed to casually see other people, but not have a relationship. It may mean that you’re allowed to have an additional boyfriend/girlfriend. This is something you will need to discuss with her. If you both decide that based on your philosophical views that you’d like to try having polyamorous relationships and figure out if you are, then you’ll only find out through communication.

Love Infinite,
Fuck Yeah Polyamory

I am in my first triad where we all live together. 90% of the time, I am great. But I am used to a lot more alone time than I'm currently getting. Plus, my partners fuck a LOT more than I do (abuse issue stuff) so I can often hear them going at it. I don't want them to stifle their sex but the place is small and I don't always wanna hear that. Plus, sometimes it triggers me. Anyone have any tips to make the transition smoother? Sincerely, A Slightly Cranky Only Child.

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 16:02:20 -0400

Do you have your own room? Have you discussed this with your partners?

Remember that one of the keys to maintaining relationships is open and honest communication. One of the keys to maintaining one’s sanity is personal space.

Make sure you have your own room. Be able to put on head phones and drown out the world with music. Have a bookshelf filled with all of your favorite books. Cover the walls in your favorite photographs. Make it your space.

Being in love doesn’t mean giving up your space and the sense of security associated with it. Discuss your need for alone time and space with your partners. Discuss the fact that you are triggered with them - if nothing else, just for their own awareness.

And don’t forget - BREATHE! Whenever you’re stressed and beginning to feel cranky, take a step back and some deep slow breaths.

Love Infinite,

Fuck Yeah Polyamory

Might be a stupid question but, if you're polyamorous, can you still be satisfied in monogamous relationships? Or is it possible to be both?

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 15:57:16 -0400

You can be polyamorous and be in a monogamous relationship.

Polyamory is part of how you see the world and your identity. It does not dictate that you’re only allowed to have relationships of type x,y, or z.

If you’d like an example, I am currently in a monogamous relationship that will be opened upon further discussion if someone ever enters my life that I would like to also have a relationship with.

That being said, there are some people that are not satisfied with only one relationship, especially if their partner is polyamorous. It is a very personal decision that requires reflection in order to determine what will make you happy.

I hope this answered your question.

Love Infinite,

Fuck Yeah Polyamory

I just want you to know this blog has really given me the perspective and courage to try to talk to my husband about my poly feelings. I'm bisexual, and he knows but he tends to think if I want to be with a woman then I don't want him anymore. I love him and want to be with him but I have feelings I can't ignore anymore and I want to thank all the people sharing their stories for helping me realize that I can and should try to resolve this. <3

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 15:53:21 -0400

Thank you for the wonderful compliment :)

We strive to encourage people to be completely honest with themselves and those that they love.

You’re in our thoughts as you try to resolve this conflict!

Love Infinite,
Fuck Yeah Polyamory

My mom is monogamous, my dad is poly/would like to have a poly relationship. After years of somewhat peaceful convivence they started to have serious fights, because now my dad is actively seeking for new relationships and my mom is struggling with this fact. Still, they love each other and want to try to stay together. I, being monogamous and respectful about polyamorism, want to help them but don't know how :( Can you give me some advice, please? ps: sorry for my english

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 15:51:41 -0400

This is a tough one.

As a child, the only thing you can do is remind your mother how much your father loves her. You have to be supportive of your parents without pitting them against each other. Try not to get too deeply involved in the conflict itself, but instead be supportive of their happiness and reminding the other how much they love each other.

Your mother is suffering from insecurities. Having the reminder of how much she is loved and help combatting these insecurities is extremely important. If you have the kind of relationship with her that allows it, ask her about how she’s feeling. Let her talk about everything that is upsetting her. Sometimes words give structure to the complex emotions people feel in response to change and the insecurities surrounding it.

Best of luck to you!

Love Infinite,
Dream Inventor

I just found your blog, so I'm not sure if you have mentioned this but how should I go about telling a potential lover I'm polyamorous and already have one partner?

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 15:47:53 -0400

When you’re comfortable enough with the person, get up the courage, approach it in the form of a conversation or cut right to the chase, and tell them.

You have to be prepared for the possibility of rejection. We have some posts discussing this topic more fully.

Love Infinite,
L

I’m become acquainted with polyamory through fandom and I thought I’d just give a...

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 15:45:44 -0400

I’m become acquainted with polyamory through fandom and I thought I’d just give a shoutout to these blogs which people might want to know about: polyamorous avengers and polyamorous fandoms

They’re lovely about exposing all kinds of polyamorous ships that just don’t get enough of the spotlight :)

"I don't know anyone with AIDS"

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 03:13:00 -0400

"I don't know anyone with AIDS":

Dear FYP Community,

I would like to share a story with you.

It starts in at Ventura State Beach… It starts where a whole parking lot is filled with bicycles… It starts 30 years before that parking lot was filled with bicycles… It starts with a little boy in 1999 diagnosed with AIDS after a contaminated blood transfusion… It starts with the group of lovers that find out that somehow, somewhere, one of them got “it”… and suddenly they feel as though they cannot be touched… or worse, their lovers don’t want to touch them… It starts on a thousand threads of stories woven together all ending in the same thing:

We have to do something.

Tonight at Ventura State Beach hundreds of candles for HIV/AIDS victims were walked to the ocean and put out by the sea after being held to the sky beneath the stars and prayed for in each person’s individual manner, remembered or spoken to after death.

Please take this moment with your friends, your lovers, your partners;

Please remember those that have been taken from us by this violent and horrific disease that most prevalently stikes the gentlest and most incredible of souls.

And if you think to yourself “I don’t know anyone with AIDS”… Think about that again. You meet hundreds of people every day without even realizing it. You may never be introduced, but you see their face, you might hear their voice, make eye contact even. Any one of them could be living with the knowledge that they are HIV positive. Any one of them could be infected and not know it themselves.

We are all affected. We should all be fighting for a cure.

That is all.

Love Infinite,
Now and Forever,

DreamInventor (AKA L)