I am in a poly relationship and my primary partner is getting extremely insecure about my relationship with my lover. I've read a lot about managing jealousy, but can insecurity be treated as jealousy? I feel like I just can't do enough to convince my primary that I still love her even when I am in a state of extreme infatuation with another partner.

While insecurity can lead to jealousy and jealous behavior, it cannot be treated the same way.

Insecurity is an issues that can only be worked out through communication as to figure out what the root causes are. After the causes are figured out, then you need to talk about them and what both of you can do to try and alleviate the insecurity issues.

Consider the actions of both of you, as well as talking to your primary about New Relationship Energy (NRE). Are you spending enough time with your primary? Are you showing her love in the ways that she’s receptive? If the answer to either of those questions is “no”, then you may want to consider adjusting your actions and seeing if that helps.

Communication and open honesty is the best way to resolve any issue. Be considerate of her feelings and make sure to adjust your actions, within reason, to them. If she hasn’t been telling you *why* she’s feeling insecure, then it’s probably a good reason to ask.

Without knowing more about the situation, I really can’t offer much more in terms of advice. I hope that this helps.

Love Infinite,

L
FuckYeahPolyamory 

Asked by Anonymous

3 months ago 6 ♥