Polyamorous relationships can be very in-depth with a lot of boundaries or very loose - it all depends on how each of your relationships have been set up and how they continue to evolve over time as those involved grow and change. It can take a long time to get the hold of, and each individual relationship is it’s own and has it’s own individual life.
Given the fact that polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved - no you do not lose your poly card if you chose to be in a closed monogamous relationship instead whether just for the moment, or for years. You are capable of loving more than one person at once but this does not mean that you always must. Just because you choose to be in a closed mono relationship at the moment does not mean that you are not poly - as does being a bisexual individual in a heterosexual or in a homosexual relationship at the moment does not negate your bisexuality. Same as being single does not necessary mean that you are available.
Asked by Anonymous
Polyamory is a way that heterosexual men can “hedge”, or invest, in various women, to the degree that they want to, and benefit from the returns until the investment is no longer worthwhile. There are many things that can make the investment become less worthwhile -when women start to ask for something in return, or demand more emotional, social, or sexual accountability, or transparency, or care activity. The polyamorous hedge then becomes a shield against accountability, and a guarantee that there is other attention to exploit without having to really offer anything back. Should the return gain fail on one relationship, or should you be asked to be accountable for your actions with that woman, or invest more by caring more, you have created other relationships to fall back on and reap gains from. Hedging is utterly objectifying, exploitative, and violent.
Hetero Poly under patriarchy. Not so viable. Especially when so many men see us as things not full people.
Every single dude I’ve seen outside my relationship has turned into a fuckboy the second I asked for accountability or demanded more respect. BYE.
I literally just found your blog after I posted about my relationship and have been looking for blogs that have info on related relationships.. I think I can learn a lot from yours. If you think my latest post fits your blogs content.. please reblog. Thanks <3 I would love for advice from others, and also I’m a relatively new blog (finally hit 50 followers, fuck yeah!) haha.
You are polyamorous - polyamory comes in many forms. What you are in is what I would affectionately call a “Poly-blob” and relationships like that are magical and very special. Don’t worry about labeling yourselves - live a life full of love and support and be happy!
Asked by Anonymous
I don’t know of any pro-poly STD resources (yet - fyp is planning on starting a real website where we’ll have these resources available), but I would recommend
1. contacting all of your partners you’ve had over the past 5 years and make sure they get checked
2. make sure to always be open and honest about the fact that you have herpes to all your partners both present and future *before* engaging in sexual activities with them - it is possible to transmit herpes from the genetalia to the mouth, so even oral sex require disclosure
3. get on an antiviral medication to help prevent outbreaks and transmission to partners
4. always use a barrier method of protection to help prevent transmitting the disease to your partners.
5. there are post-STD diagnosis dating websites where you can say I am positive with disease X, am polyamorous, and am seeking other partners with disease X. These may be of use if you feel uncomfortable dating.
Asked by Anonymous
Well, this is a great place to solicit for families. Anyone looking to participate (that lives in the UK) please contact dreampickler!
Asked by dreampickler